Relationships at Christmas
Posted: Sunday, December 14, 2008
by Douglas Sardelli
http://www.villagematchmaker.com
Whether you enjoy Christmas as a seasonal holiday or its meaning is of great spiritual value to you; the holiday itself can present a host of problems for couples. Learning how to get through the holiday and all that it requires of you and your partner can be a difficult challenge, especially while still trying to enjoy yourself. Grab a cup of eggnog or a Christmas cookie and find out about a few tips that might help your holiday jingle all the way:
- Dont spend too much money on your partner if finances are tight, meaning usually goes a lot farther than expense.
- Spend equal amounts on each others relatives and discuss any issues that may come up about it calmly and without favoritism.
- Discuss a set amount with your partner that you will spend on one another and do not go over that amount.
- If money is too tight for gifts try to work out gifts for each other that do not cost money
- If finances are shabby and arguments keep taking place; take the time to stop and remind each other about how much you care for one another; take a walk down a street that has Christmas dcor and forget about the finances for a little while or sit down together and watch a movie. Remember, the people who care about you will understand if youre a little down on your luck.
- Again, if financial matters are pressing, try to discuss something you might get as a couple that you would both enjoy rather than a great many individual gifts.
- Dont waste time worrying about money that isnt there and the things you cannot buy, people who love you would rather see you happy on Christmas than have an expensive gift.
- If expectations are high, sit down with your partner and discuss a more realistic approach.
Giving:
- Before the holiday pay attention to what makes your partner happy; your clues to the perfect gift may be right in front of you.
- Ask parents and friend is youre not sure about what will delight your partner as a gift.
- Point out items during commercials or on the pc that you think your partner might like and see how they react, (this is an excellent time to test those investigation skills youve been working on since watching your first detective show.)
- Take note of any collections your partner might have and see if you can add something to them. In some cases items that go with certain collections may not even be expensive, but require some searching which will have great meaning to your partner.
- Surprising your partner with a vacation or even a weekend trip can also be a great gift as it gives you both something to look forward to when the holidays have ended.
- Dropping hints about what you would really like for Christmas can take a great deal of pressure off of your partner and get you the gift you want most.
- If something you want is too far out of your price range, try not to lament about not being able to afford it as this might make your partner feel incredibly guilty.
- If you dont trust dropping hints, tell your partner out right what you want for Christmas, this way there can be no mistaking that they got you the right gift.
- Remember that when you open a gift to be enthusiastic; some people do not show their feeling as much as others and your partner probably understands if you are less likely to become very excited, however, show them that you care about the gift that they chose, even if its a tiny bit out of character.
If you are one of those fortunate couples that happens to get along well with each others families than this time of year is probably a very pleasant experience for you both; if on the other hand you have difficulties getting along this might be the time of year that you find yourself dreading. Getting along with family members can be difficult for those born into it, let alone those brought in by a relationship. Always try your best to keep everything running smoothly and remember that however much a person grates on your nerves, you endure it because you care about your partner. For those that are subjecting their partners to difficult families, remember to be supportive, it isnt easy and allow your partner to make a joke now and then without getting defensive. Work as a team to get through holiday dinners; brunches and yes even the occasional (digital) slideshow:
- Try not to get defensive if your partner doesnt click as well with your family as you would like.
- If you have any expectations, this especially applies to new relationships, make your partner aware of them before setting out to the gathering.
- Warn your partner about any taboo subjects before the event and remind them on the way.
- Try not to leave your partner alone with your family unless you are sure that they are absolutely comfortable.
- When the event is over, discuss it with your partner and make sure that it went smoothly; if not find out why and see if perhaps you can help to correct the problem before then next family event.
- If meeting family for the first time try keeping the subjects light and allow them to steer the conversation.
- Find out if you have anything in common with your partners family when meeting them, this may help with the initial awkwardness.
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