Preparing for Your Date: Tips for Men
Posted: Sunday, December 07, 2008
by Douglas Sardelli
http://www.villagematchmaker.com
Whether this is your first date or twenty first, meeting a person who you would like to impress can be a little nerve racking. Many people feel awkward when trying to present their best qualities; a great deal of pressure is felt when trying to charm another person.
Much of the advice that is given about dating revolves around the idea of misleading your date so that you presentation is less of who you are and more who you would like to be. While everyone expects people to be on their best behavior when dating, it is equally important to be yourself, especially if you hope to maintain a relationship with your date in the future. Even for men who do not intend to form a relationship, deceit is a risky plan to follow in hopes of a conquest. Instead of using tricks to raise the interest of your date it can be far more productive to make sure that you simply present the best you possible:
Whether you are at the peak of physical fitness or a little out of shape you can always present an attractive and interesting side of your personality through cloths and grooming. Though it is customary to dress up for a date, make sure that what you choose to wear best represents you and if this leads you to discovering that your taste in clothes is less attractive than you once hoped, perhaps its time for a change. Take a look at the media for a good idea of what trends are in fashion, or simply head out to a local hang-out before your date and take notice of what other men are wearing. Be sure to dress for your weight and build as the wrong cloths for other can be extremely unattractive. If you hope to make any kind of physical contact, make sure that you shirt especially feels good to the touch; a soft sweater or smooth shirt can be a very seductive item of clothing when the mood is right.
When grooming be sure that you are thorough; nothing ruins a date faster than a nostril excretion or a food particle stuck in facial hair. Stay true to who you are and dont try to change anything that makes you feel uncomfortable with. The most important grooming factor for men is cleanliness; it may be obvious to some, but one of the most common complaints against mens appearance is the lack of attention to hygiene; make sure that if your date decides to get close you will give off a pleasant smell that might just make them want to get even closer. As a warning: Do not wear too much cologne; this scent can be overpowering and an incredible turn off if it is too strong, error on the side of caution and go light on your fragrances.
The right hair cut can make or break an appearance and for this reason it might be time to take a look at how you style it. Though some men have difficulty with hair as they havent much to work with, it is important to remember that you are presenting a whole package; be sure that what hair you have is clean and neatly styled and the rest will take care of itself. In todays society many men choose to shave their heads completely if it becomes too thin to style and this look can look can be very attractive, with little effort.
Posture is an issue that is little discussed once away from childhood, but the right or wrong stance can send hundreds of different messages to your date and should be taken into account. Your body language and eye contact will tell your date, without words not only whether or not you find them interesting, but a great deal about what kind of person you are. If you have difficulty with your posture or body language try practicing in a mirror what positions look good for you and how your facial expressions may be taken. Some signals are commonly interpreted and have an excellent chance of sending out the message you desire:
- Standing /Sitting up Straight: Especially for a first impression it is important to appear confidant; if confidence is something you lack, perhaps now is a good time to start working towards it. Holding your head level with the ground and keeping your back erect sends the signal that you are confident and determined. Try practicing this at home so as not to appear to awkward or stiff on your date.
- Fidgeting: If during the course of your conversation you begin to fidget, especially if your date is the person talking when you do it, the most common interpretation is that you are disinterested in not only the conversation, but perhaps your date altogether. If this is an area that you find particularly troublesome it may be useful to you to try practicing meditation methods which can help to calm you. Fidgeting also tends to send the signal that you are nervous; though most people expect to feel a little uneasy when meeting someone new, any sign of your being extremely nervous may lead your date to begin questioning your value and making the assumption that problems lie just underneath your surface.
- Eye Contact: Youve probably heard it before: eye contact is important. Not only does eye contact show your date that you find them attractive to look at, which can be very flattering, but also that you are interested in what they are saying. Many people experience strong emotional and physical responses to simply being looked at and for this reason, how you go about looking can have an enormous effect on the outcome of your date. Constantly looking around or away sends the signal that you are not taken with your date, that you may even be looking around at other potentials; this will often lead to uncomfortable, drawn out moments and finally, a poor chance at gaining your dates approval.
- Touch: Many men are eager for some kind of physical contact, when being honest, a great many of them would admit that it is their primary goal for being on a date in the first place; because of this eagerness there are times when men over step the boundaries and touch when their date is not yet ready to receive such advances. While some men have an excellent feel for when the time is right, others seem to get it wrong constantly; if in doubt allow your date to make the first physical move so that you can better understand what they are feeling. Another tactic which is considered both polite and endearing by many is to simply tell your date what you would like to do and ask their permission; this kind of direct, but controlled approach can be both heartwarming and extremely arousing as it shows real interest without invading a persons privacy. Choose your words very carefully when making suggestions of this nature and try not to use words that will come across as crass or tacky. A great deal of seduction takes place in the subtlest of words and in this you may find a whole new bout of confidence that you never knew you had.
The art of good conversation presents a real problem when a person is feeling nervous and a strong, confidant attitude will aid you in this endeavor. Though each person has their own unique conversational abilities there are a few general rules to follow when trying to impress your date:
- Dont use opening lines: A quick road to failure is to use one of the many opening lines that float around from bar to bar. There are several reason why such disaster so often follows this clich approach, but perhaps the most important is that it comes across impersonally and deceitful . To use an opening line on your date or a potential date is to say that you dont feel that they are special enough for you to choose your own words and/or that you are so inept with conversation that you must rely on the words of others. Not exactly the kind of statement you want to make with your very first sentence.
- Introduction: However you choose to greet your date, or potential one, it is important to get to know each on the most basic level before you can begin any real kind of conversation. This can be tricky as certain topics can be too personal for some and too mundane for others; a good way to begin is by asking your date how they are doing; how their day has been or any other such leads that will allow them to tell you a bit about themselves. Once you have established that their feelings matter to you the door to more personal conversation can be opened.
- Balance: While it may be tempting to allow your date to do all the talking if you are nervous remember to speak up and share who you are so that your date can begin to trust you; keeping too quiet about yourself often leads people to be suspicious and at the very least sends out a signal that you are insecure. Remember that talking too much can be equally dangerous in a conversation in that it sends out the signal that you do not find your date interesting, or that you dont much care about what interests them.
To learn more about a first date please check out the best online dating websites reviewed by VillageMatchMaker.com
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